Optimum Performance Roadblocks

It’s all about the People – Funny if not so true

  • I have the power to channel my imagination into ever­soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
  • I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
  • I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
  • In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
  • Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
  • My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
  • I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
  • I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
  • I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
  • As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
  • When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
  • The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
  • All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
  • I am at one with my duality.
  • I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
  • Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
  • Does my quiet self­pity get to you or should I move up to incessant nagging?
  • Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
  • False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
  • A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
  • Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute, I’ll find someone.
  • Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
  • The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working
  • I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
  • I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
  • To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.
  • I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.